The Good Woman: Glorification Of Misery
Last week, there was a post where a Lady was on oxygen and still cooking food, with a caption, “unconditional Love = “MOTHER”, she is never off duty”. I am not going with that post, as there are many possibilities, and there could be a real situation that she might need to cook.
But I will discuss the glorification, which is termed as Mother’s Love, wife’s sacrifices or girl’s values.
She dressed up for work, her small daughter cried due to sickness, she took a day off. After few similar occasions, it was decided that she will leave the job. Don’t get me wrong, human life is full of sacrifices. But this sacrifice should not be based on gender.
Kalpana is working in MNC, earning almost 15 LPA, her husband is also working in MNC. She used to do household stuff along with her job, but recently due to a busy schedule, they appoint a maid. Now everyone around labelled her: “she was a better person previously, managing all things. Now she finds excuse in things”
If a woman does gather the courage to go against the expectation of ‘sacrificing’, she is immediately branded as ‘selfish’. If mothers, wives and daughters refuse to sacrifice their happiness it doesn’t mean that they don’t love their families. It just means that their happiness matters and that it is unfair to put terms and conditions on it.
Mother’s or wife’s or daughter’s sacrifices isn’t a cause for celebration. Women, undoubtedly, deserve much better.
The celebration of sacrifices of a woman starts from her early days only. Whenever we see any financially unstable family, the girl child needs to drop out from school/college, the girl needs to sacrifice her love(in most of the cases), the girl needs to do household work along with her education or job. And we termed her as a good girl.
Though, nowadays, few women sacrifice their career for husbands and then expected to repeat the same for children. Good motherhood replaces good wifehood. But the situation remains the same, and this is termed as a good wife/mother.
And this is glorified in society. Do you know, why is it glorified?
Glorification is just a way to give a message to other women, that this is expected from you, as you are born a woman. The sacrifice and misery is part of your life, as you are born a woman.
The good wife/mother/girl is always one who sacrifices enough. The day, she stands for herself, she will be labelled as “selfish”.
The sacrifice is in each thing. In food, nutrition, education, clothes, freedom, even in dreams. As per a recent study, 3 out of 4 women in India are deficient in at least one vitamin.
So, dear loving women, stop for once, take care of yourself, as you cared for others all these years. Dream for yourself, as you were happy for years in other’s dreams. Celebrate your success, as you were celebrating your son/husband success these years.
While making the sacrifice is great for your loved ones, for your family, but it should not become a way for gaining love, respect or validation. Don’t let people labelled you “good wife/girl” on your sacrifice. Real strength comes when you invest in yourself. Your health/education/career/dreams are important.
